Take Your Dildoe to Lunch Day

August 22, 2008 at 3:24 am | Posted in humor, sex | 3 Comments

Yesterday I met my friend for lunch at a small coffee shop. It’s not one of those big chains that rhymes with r-bucks, but an independently owned place where one can sit with an iced tea for hours, chatting, working on a laptop, playing cards, etc.

We don’t do this very often but when we do it usually turns into a marathon. Our record is slightly over six hours. Shortly after sitting down, my friend, who had recently returned from Europe, said she had a couple of gifts for me. First she handed me a box, nicely tied with a ribbon, that held several small sewing kits from the hotels where she had stayed. We both got a good laugh from this as I am so domestically challenged it’s not funny. But wait there’s more. Then she pulled this from her large bag.

I thought, HOLY CRAP, she brought me a dildoe. She’s my best friend, and I have been stressed lately but isn’t this crossing some kind of line?  She saw the look on my face and quickly explained it’s not what it looks like, but a cucumber from her garden. Unfortunately these pictures do not do it justice as when she produced this item it truly did look like a sex toy.

I had never seen a cuke that looked like this before. All the ones I’ve seen look like this.

During the several hours we sat chatting several men walked by, smiled and flirted, but not in the way men usually flirt…I got a very odd vibe each time it happened. It wasn’t until we were almost ready to leave that I realized the dildoe cucumber was sitting right out in the open and was undoubtedly the cause for all the funny looks.

Next time we meet I’ll bring my whip. handcuffs, and ball gag.