How to raise a good christian*

May 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm | Posted in Atheism, hypocrisy, Jesus, Religion | 2 Comments
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This morning’s round of fun with jehova’s witnesses*, for some reason reminded me of an incident that happened some years ago.  It irritates the hell out of me when these folks come to my door.  I turn into the mean crazy lady.

I live in a rural part of a small town.  You cannot see my house from the road so you have to drive for several  minutes along my private driveway to get to my house.  Yet they still find me.  I was spending the morning reading when the dog and I heard voices coming from outside followed by a knock on the door.  I looked through the window at two smiling men, standing on the front porch, holding up a bible and pointing at it.

I opened the door and stared at them as they started their spiel.  I said, “You’re trespassing.”  to which jh1 replied, “There’s no sign.”  I said it doesn’t matter, you’re trespassing.  And, you know what other sign isn’t at the entrance to my property?  A sign that says, ‘If you don’t know me feel free to drive onto my property and disturb my peace or interrupt whatever I am doing so you can attempt to shove your religion down my throat.”

jh2 then said, “Give us you’re house number and we’ll make sure no one bothers you again.”

I have tried that but to no avail, they keep coming, like ants.  I said, “How about this, you put everybody who hasn’t invited you on the list and leave the rest of us the hell alone.  Most people I know think of  you as pests much like they think of mosquitoes, gnats, and killer bees but most people are way more polite than I am.”

I guess their visit made me think of this incident because both are supposedly about creating good christians.

Awhile back I had a pickup truck.  It was one where the back glass in the cab had a sliding window.  I had gone into the post office and when I came out I discovered I had locked myself out of the truck.  The back sliding window was open a couple of inches and I am rather petite so I considered climbing in.  However, I was meeting someone, it was hot, and I didn’t want to arrive dirty and sweaty.  About this time a man came out with a small boy (about 7 or 8) so I stopped him, explained my dilemma and asked if he might allow his son to climb in the back and open the door.

He looked at his kid and said, “What do you think, you want to do it for ten bucks?”  I was more than a little taken aback…as most people would have been more than happy to be helpful.  If the situation were reversed I would help and it wouldn’t cross my mind to ask for money.  I countered with five dollars, my offer was accepted and the little tycoon opened my truck in under a minute (that works out to three hundred bucks and hour).  I forked over the five bucks and as they walked away I heard the father say to his son, “See that!  When you are a good christian the lord takes care of you and now you are five dollars closer to getting your new bike.”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t christianity teach helping others in need without asking for payment?

*I refuse to capitalize anything having to do with religion.

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Jehovah’s Witnesses – really bad at math?

August 30, 2011 at 3:14 pm | Posted in Religion | 2 Comments
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Who hasn’t had a leisurely weekend interrupted by a group of overly dressed people selling their brand of door-to-door religion.  I am always befuddled that no matter how hot the summer day, they are always clad in the warmest of clothing.  Suits for both men and women, stockings on women (which are incredibly uncomfortable in hot weather) and children dressed for an Easter parade.  It doesn’t matter how far off the beaten path you live (as I do) they will find you.

I’ve had various forms of fun with them, as they’ve disturbed my peace and trespassed onto my property over the years.  At one point I kept a stack of pamphlets from the American Atheist Society near the door to hand them as they give me their booklet.  If they’d had a cross, like the ones used, in movies, to ward off vampires, they would have used it at the sight of my literature.  Hey if you’re going to force yours on me, at least have the courtesy to read mine.  On a few occasions I’ve seen them coming and answered the door au-naturale, that usually gets rid of them in a hurry.  But I usually just get angry, and let them know.  What right, I ask, do you have to drive onto my property, uninvited, and disturb me?  I threaten, get mean, posture, yell, all in the hopes they will put me on their version of the do-not-call-list.  They are, however, relentless.

I learned an interesting fact about these people the other day that makes me wonder why they are so insistent on selling their religion, like vacuum salesmen, door-to-door.  According to their belief there is a set number of places in heaven, 144,000 to be exact.  That being the case wouldn’t you think they would try to keep it on the down-low?

From Wikipedia

Jehovah’s Witnesses

Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that exactly 144,000 faithful Christians will be resurrected to heaven to spend eternity with God as spirit beings. They believe that this number is made up of early Christians and some of Jehovah’s Witnesses who profess to be “anointed” (or part of “spiritual Israel”), rather than being composed of literal descendants of Jacob.[7] Witnesses believe that the 144,000 have been selected by God since the first celebration of Pentecost. They believe the 144,000 (which they consider to be synonymous with the “little flock” of Luke 12:32) will serve with Christ as king-priests for a thousand years, while all other people accepted by God (whom they identify as the “other sheep” of John 10:16 and “the great crowd” of Revelation 7:9,14), will be given an opportunity to live forever in an earthly paradise. According to the Witnesses, the first of the 144,000 were resurrected as spirit beings in 1918 and others who die after 1918 are immediately resurrected to heaven when they die.[8][9] Nearly 11,000 Witnesses worldwide—an increase of more than 2,000 since 1995[10]—claim to be of the anointed “remnant” of the 144,000.[11] This “remnant” is considered to constitute the faithful and discreet slave of Matthew 24:45 and Luke 12:42, with teaching authority over Jehovah’s Witnesses worldwide. In practice, all doctrinal and organizational decisions are made by the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses, which is said to represent that “slave class”.[12][13]


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