What are we doing here?

October 11, 2012 at 1:32 pm | Posted in humor, political, war | 7 Comments
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  1. What we are doing in Afghanistan:

    1. Using our military, lest anyone point out that something we don’t otherwise use is eating up more than half (54% as of 2011) of the nation’s discretionary budget during a period when everyone is calling for “austerity”. Gotta keep that money flowing to those well-connected pockets!

    2. Alienating as many brown-skinned people as possible by killing their relatives and friends by as inhuman or impersonal means as possible, in the hopes that they will become terrorists in the future and attack us, thus continuing to justify a huge military budget in the future. Those well-connected pockets aren’t going away any time soon — not if Obama and Romney have anything to say about it!

    3. Trying to get the natural resources of Afghanistan drained for the benefit of multinational corporations who will not share any of the profits with either the people of Afghanistan or pay any taxes to the government of America which enabled the looting. The voting public proposes, the ownership of well-connected pockets disposes.

    4. Preventing either of the two main political parties in the U.S. from being able to claim that we “lost” Afghanistan (how, exactly, could we “win”?) by pulling our troops out like a bunch of unmanly cowards. Real men sacrifice their troops and their financial well-being! We don’t want this to turn out like Vietnam, after all — why, if we had only killed off an entire generation of our young men, we could doubtless have continued to have a puppet government in what was, at the time, a war-torn 3rd-world armpit halfway around the world!

    5. Desperately pretending that we aren’t committing war crimes left and right which will, if the BRIC countries truly are ascendant over the next few decades, be prosecuted, much to the shock of most Americans. For which any decent person should be grateful, although it must be remembered that the well-connected pockets won’t be on trial; it’s far more likely that you or I will be called to account for the crimes of our military than, say, the directors of Lockheed-Martin or Xe Security.

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