…and I’m a Mormon

March 2, 2012 at 4:40 pm | Posted in Atheism, elections, political campaigns, Religion | 4 Comments
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About a year or so ago I started seeing those TV ads that begin by showing normal, busy people talking about their lives and ending by telling you, “My name is Joe Blow, and I’m a Mormon.”  At first I assumed that the Mormon church was running the ads.  In the minds of many the scandals that hit the news, about those polygamist sects, were associated with the Mormon church.  The ads, I thought, were damage control to show the world that Mormons are just like you and me.  I don’t know about you, but I’m not required to wear special underwear, take part in secret rituals, or go on a mission to spread the Book of Mormon.

Now, I’m not so sure it’s the Mormon Church.  I think Mitt Romney is behind the ads.  I think he planned ahead, knowing his strange religion would be an issue come election time, and used the commercials as a preemptive measure.  Remember when Bill Clinton was asked the boxers or briefs question.. I wonder how that will go with Romney?

Great satire, on Romney’s underpants from Pardon the Pundit:

“Look, Mormons catch a lot of flack for their underwear, but truth be told, my underpants are just as normal as anyone else’s here,” explained Romney. “People joke that Mormons wear `magic’ underwear, but that simply isn’t the case. Our underpants represent our faith, and remind us that we need to stay pure. Every single time we see our underpants on us, it’s like God is saying `dude, I know you’re all alone, and you thought Jim’s third wife was pretty risque showing off those ankles of hers, but look at your underwear!’ It’s like a chastity belt, but without all the chaffing.”

Romney responded harshly to a question from the audience from a journalist asking how the underwear could stop someone from playing with themselves. “Look, it’s all a part of the Mormon faith, okay? The underwear is just a last line of defense. Whenever I pee, I need to use my special Mormon salad tongs to handle the equipment. When I’m showering, I need to use a special sponge-ladle with needles sticking out of it, to make sure I get zero pleasure from washing downstairs. It’s all a rather small price to pay for being so in-touch with God. Without any touching though, obviously.” read more


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  1. Speaking as a member of the LDS faith, and having a bit more knowledge than most Mormons of how the Church’s public affairs organization works, I can state with confidence that Mitt Romney had nothing to do with the ads and that the church was not issuing them to help him win the presidency.

    The Church spokesman has gone on record as saying that the new ads are, in part, a response to misinformation about the church, its practices, and its teachings (such as what is linked to in your post) that have come about as prominent Mormons are highlighted in the media. Not all of those highlighted in the past 4 years have been politicians, either.

    For example, did you know that other prominent Mormons (or who used to be) include Gladys Knight, Thurl Bailey, Ryan Gosling, Rick Schroder, Amy Adams, Katherine Heigl, and a whole bunch more?

    Of course, there are the many politicians, businessmen, sports figures, artists, military, authors, scientists, and educators. You can see more of them here: http://www.allaboutmormons.com/famous_mormons.php

    Even Elvis had discussions with the missionaries and very much liked what they taught, giving copies of the Book of Mormon to his family and friends and encouraging them to read it for the good messages it contains.

    The vast majority of those who remain active in the LDS church on this list are just as normal as normal can be.

    But, mostly, the ads are simply one avenue of many in of the church’s mission to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

    I’d be happy to be “that Mormon guy you know” if you have other things you’d like clarified.

    • other prominent Mormons (or who used to be) include Gladys Knight, Thurl Bailey, Ryan Gosling, Rick Schroder, Amy Adams, Katherine Heigl, and a whole bunch more?

      Hmm..used to be..wonder why they are not still? Am I supposed to be impressed that some entertainers are or were mormons that I will want to become one? I’m not. I don’t really consider celebrities to be prominent in the sense that they are role models or to be emulated. We could then say that many prominent celebrities are scientologists. Big deal! Many celebrities are drug addicts and/or criminals..so what? My take on LDS, scientology, christianity, judaism, islam, or any other religion is pretty much the same as Bill Maher’s..it’s just a bunch of superstitious crap.

      I’m sure you would be happy to be that mormon guy I know since you assume I don’t know any mormons. I do. Since you, that mormon guy I know, seem to have an ‘in’ with the LDS church would you ask them to put me on their ‘do not knock list’ because between you guys and the jehova’s witnesses I really get tired at the invasion of my peace and privacy when you come to my door and try to shove your religion down my throat. You are free to believe whatever nonsense you like but keep it off my doorstep and out of my face.

      • People decide to leave many different religions for many different reasons. I wasn’t trying to impress anyone with the list I gave. Just offering an idea to counter the notion popular culture has perpetuated to you that we’re all from Utah and that we’re all like Mitt. The LDS church is quite diverse and very international.

        I wasn’t trying to assume anything. I just felt like you had some wrong notions about who Mormons are and what they believe and thought I’d at least give you our perspective. I’m sorry if you feel that missionaries are harassing you. That’s not their intention at all. Our desire, which I think most people have to varying degrees, is just to share with others something that makes us very happy in hopes that it can make them happy as well. If you ask the next set of missionaries who stop by to make a note for future missionaries not to visit your house, I’m sure they’d be happy to do so.

        • First, I don’t think all Mormons are from Utah or the same as Mitt. Further, you have taken a somewhat tongue in cheek (that means humorous) post too seriously. I have a fairly good idea of what Mormons are about, but like any religion, I still think it’s crap.

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