How many IRS agents does it take to answer one simple question?

February 7, 2012 at 12:03 pm | Posted in government waste, humor, taxes | Leave a comment
Tags: , , , , , ,

English: Anti-United States Internal Revenue S...

Seven and counting.  I called the IRS the other day with what I thought was a very simple question.

I am convinced that our government employs people whose job description is to take very simple processes and tasks and make them as complicated as possible.  In my mind my seventy-two minute IRS call is proof of that theory.  The first woman I spoke with made the question a bit more complex, gave me a partial answer and said I would need to be transferred to another department.  This was repeated six more times, with each agent making the question even more complex that it barely resembled my original question.  After the seventh agent said I would need to be transferred to yet another department I was experiencing bureaucratic overload and declined saying I would call back another time.  I won’t, because I don’t think I will get an answer and perhaps use up another seventy-two minutes of my life I can never get back.    They apparently have a department for every single line on every one of their myriad tax forms.

Upon calling the IRS before you even speak to an agent you hear a recorded disclaimer informing you that the information they give you isn’t necessarily correct or to be relied upon.  So let me get this straight… IRS employees are not expected to know all the codes and rules, yet when we file our tax returns there are stiff fines and penalties if we get them wrong!  That’s  just rhymes with mucked up.

I have a feeling all of our government agencies are run in similarly inefficient fashion and this could be one of the many reasons our government is hemorrhaging money faster than a broken water main.

_______________________________________________

            At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the
             books of a local hospital.  While the IRS agent was checking the books, he
             turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of
             bandages.  What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little
             left to be of any use?”

            “Good question,” noted the CFO.  “We save them up and send them back to the
             bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll.”

             “Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question
             had a practical answer.

             But on he went, in his obnoxious way.  “What about all these plaster
             purchases?  What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a
             patient?”

             “Ah, yes,” replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was
             trying to trap him with an unanswerable question.  “We save it and send it
             back to the manufacturer, and every so often they will send us a free bag of
             plaster.”

             “I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the
             know-it-all CFO.  “Well,” he went on, “What do you do with all the remains
             from the circumcision surgeries?”

            “Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CFO.  “What we do is save all the
             little foreskins and send them to the IRS office, and about once a year they
             send us a complete prick.”

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