Ten Commandments More Like Ten Guidelines

December 24, 2009 at 12:14 pm | Posted in Atheism, economy, god, hypocrisy, Religion | 2 Comments
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Good news for all of our Christian friends who have been trying so very hard to live by the ten commandments.  As it turns out they are not so much commandments as they are guidelines or suggestions, so you can all relax.  At least that is how Rev. Tim Jones, in England, sees them.  He told his congregation that “thou shalt not steal” isn’t exactly written in stone…so what, they were written with an etch-a sketch?  He told his congregation it was OK for desperate people to shoplift, as long as they do it at large national chain stores rather than small family businesses.

The Rev Tim Jones said in his Sunday sermon that stealing from successful shops was preferable to burglary, robbery or prostitution.

He told parishioners it would not break the eighth commandment ‘thou shalt not steal’ because it ‘is permissible for those who are in desperate situations to take food that they might not starve’.

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If “thou shalt not steal” isn’t exactly written in stone, it would be reasonable to assume the other nine commandments are written on the same flexible, non-permanent material.  I did a Google search for a list of the ten commandments and was surprised to find there are several versions, which is probably why Rev. Jones believes they are not etched in stone.  Here is one version that I found so if you will excuse me, I will now spend several minutes amusing myself by imagining how each one could be interpreted and used for any given situation.  Feel free to add your own suggestions and interpretations.

ONE: ‘You shall have no other gods before Me.

TWO: ‘You shall not make for yourself a carved image–any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

THREE: ‘You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.

FOUR: ‘Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.

FIVE: ‘Honor your father and your mother.

SIX: ‘You shall not murder.

SEVEN: ‘You shall not commit adultery.

EIGHT: ‘You shall not steal.

NINE: ‘You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

TEN: ‘You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.


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  1. Sure – why not? They’ve long ‘flexed’ a bunch of the other ones, keeping figurines of biblical characters, including but not limited to nativity scenes, freely speaking the name and/or title of their “lord” in any way they feel, pretty much ignoring the sabbath and in any case, moving it to the wrong day of the week, pissing and whining about mom and dad all the time, often having extramarital affairs, and plenty more.

    Of the 10 “commandments”, one constitutes the core of any effective moral system. Of the other 9, the ones that don’t amount to aggrandizement of this god figure all pretty much derive from it. In essence, all crimes amount to violating it in some way or other. And which one is it? 8. Don’t steal.

  2. Commandment 6, you shall not murder: As the saying goes, in Texas a defense of murder is, he/she needed killing. So I’d like to add my interpretation of #6 as thou shalt not kill unless proposed killee needeth killing.

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