Undercover RepublicanOctober 30, 2008 at 12:33 am | Posted in elections, humor, political campaigns, What if? | 5 Comments
Tags: dirty politics, early voting, satire, stealing elections, undercover, voter fraud
A few months ago I decided if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em…and screw things up from the inside, or at least find out what they’re really up to. That’s when I thought it would be a good idea to volunteer to work for McCain. Email, offering my services to the McCain campaign went unanswered. I made several phone calls to the McCain Campaign HQ saying I wanted to do what I can to help get McCain elected. Each time I was told someone would call me back, no one ever did.
Their lack of need for willing volunteers alarmed me. I wondered why? Do they know something we don’t know, like plans are already underway, by the republican party, to steal yet another election? I sincerely hope not and if that be the case will we ever know?
Not being one to give up easily I have hatched a new devious plot plan. Those who have voted early are being urged to work on election day by giving rides to people, who need them, so they can vote. So to all those who have already voted, put a sign on the side of your car, van, SUV, etc that says something like, “All Aboard to Vote for McCain”. If you can afford it, rent a bus (though if you can afford to rent a bus you’re probably really are voting for McCain).
When your vehicle is crammed as full as a clown car with gullible eager McCain voters get yourself lost way out in the country. Then as you try (this is where the ability to fake sincerity will come in handy) to frantically find your way, damn your bad luck, run out of gas, have your battery die, have four flat tires, or find some other way to be at the mercy of your disabled vehicle which will be miraculously drivable only after the polls have closed.
DISCLAIMER: The above ideas, taken from the Republican Party Election Playbook, are for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously or to be construed as a suggestion that anyone actually partake in such GOP-like activities, because that would just be WRONG!