How to Speak Republican or Palinese

September 24, 2008 at 5:33 am | Posted in elections, hypocrisy, political campaigns | 7 Comments
Tags: , , ,

I received the following in an email (author unknown). There are a few errors, possibly due to copying and recopying but it’s worth the read.

Here is why the GOP and the Republican-controlled press is better at framing
the issues.
(By the way, do you speak Palinese???)

If you’re a minority and you are selected for a job over better-qualified
candidates, then you’re a ‘token hire.’
But if you’re a conservative and you are selected for a job over
better-qualified candidates, then you’re a ‘game changer.’

If you’re a pregnant Black teenager, you represent a ‘crisis’ in Black
America.
But if you’re a pregnant white teenager, you’re anticipating a ‘blessed
event.’

If you grew up in Hawaii, you’re ‘exotic.’
But if you grew up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you’re the quintessential
‘American story.’

If you name your kid Barack, you’re ‘unpatriotic.’
But if you name your kid ‘Piper’ or ‘Track’, you’re ‘colorful.’

If you’re a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the
candidate, then you’re ‘reckless.’
But if you’re a Republican and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the
candidate, then you’re ‘a maverick.’

If you are a popular Democratic male candidate, then you are an ‘arrogant
celebrity.’
But if you are a popular Republican female candidate, then you are
‘energizing the base.’

If you are a younger male candidate who thinks for himself and makes his own
decisions, then you’re ‘presumptuous.’
But if you are an older male candidate who makes last-minute decisions you
refuse to explain, then you’re a ‘shoot-from-the-hip’ maverick.

If you are a candidate with a Harvard law degree, then you’re “an elitist,
out of touch” with the real America.
But if you are a legacy graduate (dad and granddad were admirals) of
Annapolis with multiple disciplinary infractions, then you’re a hero.

If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign, then you’re an
’empty suit.’
graduate f you are a one-time mayor of a town of 6,000 people, then you’re
an ‘experienced executive.’

If you go to a south side Chicago church, then your beliefs are ‘extremist.’
graduate f you believe in creationism and don’t believe global warming is
man-made, then you are ‘strongly principled.’

If you are married for 19 years to the same woman, and have raised two
beautiful daughters with her, then you’re ‘risky.’
graduate If you cheated on your disfigured first wife with a rich heiress,
got a marriage license with the heiress before your divorce and married the
heiress five weeks after it, then you are of course a good Christian.

If you’re a 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, then the right-wing press
unapologetically calls you ‘First dog.’
graduate f you’re a 17-year old pregnant unwed Bristol Palin, the right-wing
press calls you ‘beautiful’ and ‘courageous.’

And finally:
If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your organization from
a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $70,000 to $400,000, and you become
the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, and you create a voter
registration drive that registers 150,000 new African American voters, and
you spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, and you spend nearly 8
more years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000
people, and you become chairman of the State Senate’s Health and Human
Services committee, and you spend nearly 4 years in the United States Senate
representing a state of nearly 13,000,000 people while you sponsor 131 bills
and serve on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works, and
Veteran’s Affairs committees — then you are woefully inexperienced.

But — if you spend 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of
a town of about 6,000 people, then spend 20 months as the governor of a
state with 650 thousand people — why, then you have the most executive
experience of anyone on either ticket, are the Commander in Chief of the
Alaska military and are well qualified to lead the nation should you be
called upon to do so, because your state is the closest one to Russia!

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7 Comments »

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  1. […] Original post by honjii […]

  2. And if you can’t deal with other people’s success, you’re a whiner. Get over it.

  3. Steve, When I read your comment I thought, “What does that even mean?” Your comment can be taken many ways. However, in checking your blog I see where you stand, way on the Christian right, so now I understand why your comment is so non-commital. It is so politician like it makes me wonder if you are perhaps running for office somewhere?

    By the way, if you are referring to Sarah Palin as a success could you please elaborate? The woman is a joke, and if she gets into office will likely be our worse nightmare. The post above is a list of factual information and if, from that comparison, you still think McCain and Palin have attained any measure of success that is in the same league with Obama and Biden you are sadly misguided.

    It is understandable that many people don’t want someone smarter than they are to be in charge. It’s intimidating when they use big words you can’t understand and can’t relate to… but we’ve had eight years of that and you see how well that’s worked. I think it’s time we left the tough jobs to those with the cognitive skills to handle them. And we need someone extremely intelligent to begin to wade through and attempt to rectify the mess the Bush regime has left. What we don’t need is a pair consisting of someone who is too busy worrying about abortion and Jesus to notice that our country is falling apart before our eyes and a guy so confused or dishonest that he contradicts himself without even realizing it.

  4. Okay, now what does that mean? Democrats are smarter than Republicans? I think Congress has pretty well disproved that. We could do the he said-she said and “my guy is better than your guy” routines, but that would not be fruitful. I would just suggest that before you bad mouth the eeeeevil Bushitler demon (and McCain/Palin), you consider how little power the president actually has in comparison to the (democrat) Congress. That puts the sorry shape of the country into better context.

  5. Steve, there you go reading things that aren’t there. Honjii said Obama and Biden are smarter and more capable than McCain and Palin. I agree with Honjii that Palin, a heartbeat from the president who could die doesn’t have a lot going on upstairs. She didn’t say dems are smarter than the republicans, but if the shoe fits….
    Anyway, theoretically the pres. doesn’t have much power, but no the case for Bush who abused power and placed himself above the laws and pretty much ignored congress. If McCain/Palin get in it’s just gonna be more of the same or worse. You need to get a clue.

  6. Obama and Biden are smarter and more capable than McCain and Palin

    Have you actually heard hear Biden speak? He asked a wheelchair-bound man to stand up and take a bow. Obama had only been a senator for six months before deciding he needed to be president. There’s some executive experience for you. Not.

    You idealogues (look it up, I’ll wait) need to look beyond DailyKos and Huffington post as sources of information.

  7. There you go again with assumptions about where I get my information. You have taken the incident with Biden and the man in the wheelchair out of contents, like you guys always do, to make it sound better than it is. Biden didn’t know the guy was in a wheelchair, and his aide who made notes decided to leave that out, feeling it might be politically incorrect or insulting to include this in his notes. If you’ve ever been on a stage, you will know that the lighting on you makes seeing the audience next to impossible.

    And yes, I have heard Biden speak. I find him knowledgeable, capable, informed, and experienced. These are just my impressions from listening to him. Reading the congressional record, and background information on Biden only serves to reinforce my impressions.

    Every time Palin opens her mouth she sounds more and more like the Bimbo from the beauty pageant who gave that incoherent speech about maps. When asked a question she looks like a deer in the headlights because she doesn’t know the answer so she babbles on about nothing in an attempt to sound informed. She’s fooling only those on the lower end of the intellectual curve. Give me a break, if you think she’s intelligent you just might no have as many marble rolling around in there as you should in order to make an informed decision.
    Now I’ll make an assumption..perhaps you should get your news from a source other than Fox.


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