As gas prices continue to rise I’ve noticed more Smart Cars on the road. They are tiny, funny looking cars that when seen from the side, look to me as if someone lopped the back end off. If they got 500 mpg you couldn’t get me into one of those cars unless every other vehicle on the road was a smart car. Small cars scare the hell out of me, and this one makes the Mini Cooper look big. I was driving behind one the other day thinking that if a bicycle ran into it , this car would be totaled. I also thought I could run it off the road by passing it and blowing on it through my open window.

I did a little reading, and found they do well in safety tests, however the report I read stated

“The big question from consumers is, ‘How safe is it?’” said IIHS president Adrian Lund. “All things being equal in safety, bigger and heavier is always better.

The report also states these cars would be best for driving in dense city traffic where speeds are low and high speed crashes are rare. I think the best use of the Smart Car might be to put it into the back of your SUV while driving on the highway then park and roll the little smartie out for navigating the slow moving city traffic.

With all the publicity about priests abusing children, and the higher ups looking the other way, it finally dawned on me what the pope is.
Could it be that POPE is an acronym for:

Piously
Organized
Pedophile
Extremists

Bush has announced that he has made the supreme sacrifice to show support for our troops. He has given up golf. I bet the men and women serving in Iraq had a lot of trouble containing their joy upon hearing that bit of horse shit good news. Just when we thought all hope was lost and our president was a self serving moron he goes and makes such a selfless and useless useful gesture…it brings tears to my eyes.

I encourage everyone to write to Mr. Bush and express your gratitude for answering our pleas to do something about the war. We have been writing, speaking, complaining about this war and wondering what can be done to get us out of the horrible mess we’ve made…trying to figure out how best to remedy the situation…it’s a wonder no one thought of this idiotic brilliant plan sooner.

Isn’t it amazing how sometimes the solution is so simple it’s right there under your nose and you completely overlook it? If everyone who golfs will follow this sterling example and give up playing I’ll bet it will stop global warming, clear up our national debt, and end world hunger.

Thanks Dumbass George!

I found a link to this site at Why That’s Delightful. If you find yourself with nothing to do, fire up Photoshop, swap heads with your baby and upload your picture to ManBabies.

GET MORE AT ManBabies.com!

I saw the following ad on the back of the Sunday Newspaper Magazine

GET A $149 DESKTOP
Get this Inspiron PC with a powerful Intel Core 2 Duo processor for $149 when you purchase a $269 3 year limited warranty and a Trend Mirco Internet Security software package for a total of $418

Let me see if I understand this correctly. If you buy the warranty and security software, you then have the right to purchase the product covered by the warranty and security software at a super low price. Basically the company would prefer to sell you the warranty and security software before you actually buy the computer they protect, or perhaps really does not care if you even buy the computer because the warranty has a much larger profit margin. Is it just me, or does this seem a little backwards?

Who hasn’t received an email telling you how desperately your help is needed to get funds out of a small country but the tyrannical government is trying to confiscate the writer’s family fortune? Years ago when these emails began circulating they came to be known as the Nigerian letters as that is where they originated and the country mentioned in the emails.

There have since been many variations and the fact that they keep coming (I get at least one or two a day) indicates there are still people dumb enough to fall for this, to me, obvious scam. In case you have been living in a bubble and don’t know what I’m talking about: you receive an email, clearly sent to a random address, from an unknown person asking your help in retrieving a large sum of money and for your help you will be rewarded with a percentage that will endow you with wealth beyond imagination. You will, however, need to show your good faith by first giving the sender everything you own. What kind of person falls for this? You’d have to be even dumber than Bush.

Every once in awhile, just for fun, I respond to the email offering a super deal on the Golden Gate Bridge, or swamp land in Florida to show my good faith. Once there was a phone number and I called and screwed with the guy long enough to make him angry and hang up.

Anyway, I’m writing about this for two reasons. One is I really need a break from Hillary, Obama, McCain, the economy, gas prices, the war, and basically the whole fucked up world ; and I wanted to share The 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference.

Enjoy.

Rising prices at the gas pumps, and higher energy costs in general have resulted in the newest generation of hybrid cars.

This was emailed to me by a friend I thought it was very powerful.