Tags: civil liberties, Department of Homeland Security, Director of the Central Intelligence Agency, health care, In-Q-Tel, privacy, United States Department of Homeland Security
Scary stuff and rife with possibilities for extreme abuses and violations! From Gizmodo:
Hidden Government Scanners Will Instantly Know Everything About You From 164 Feet Away
Within the next year or two, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security will instantly know everything about your body, clothes, and luggage with a new laser-based molecular scanner fired from 164 feet (50 meters) away. From traces of drugs or gun powder on your clothes to what you had for breakfast to the adrenaline level in your body—agents will be able to get any information they want without even touching you.
And without you knowing it. read more
It seems this technology could be better used in the medical field, but if the government is so hell bent on spying on us then let’s call it national health care and get some benefits from it as well.
Tags: airport security, enhanced airport security, full body scanners, pat downs, radiation, Transportation Security Administration, travel, TSA
I’m afraid someone might break into my house and murder me so I put three very high quality locks and an expensive, state of the art, alarm system on my bedroom door. My front door is wide open so the bad guys will be lured, like a fly to a spider’s web, to my boudoir where they will be caught up in my high level security system. I know what you’re thinking; that Honjii is one smart cookie.
I love accolades as much as the next person but in all honesty I can’t take credit for my home security system, I copied the model from the TSA whose job it is to protect planeloads of people from being blown to smithereens. For those unfamiliar with how the system works; the airport is a huge building or series of buildings that anyone can enter without so much as a second look. But boy I have to tell you they have their act together when it comes to getting near one of the gates where planeloads of people wait to go through security; the area that keeps us from being turned into the aforementioned smithereens. Hypothetically speaking, say some evil terrorist came through the main entrance to the airport and wanted to blow up a bunch of people; they would be lured (like the above unsuspecting fly) to the area where the potential blow-upees are gathered like sardines. Said evil terrorist would need only to get into line behind hundreds of shoeless people waiting in lines, carrying items to be inspected while waiting to choose which form of humiliation they will suffer: being seen naked by, or groped by an unskilled low paid TSA worker who, by the luck of which job application struck pay dirt, is fondling your naughty bits instead of spitting on your burger at McDonalds. This system is keeping us safe.
Even as I’m writing this something doesn’t quite seem right, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. I’m going to go eat a muffin and give this some more thought.
The muffin was delicious. I’ve figured it out, it was so obvious that I completely missed the flaw in this system even as I described it above. We shouldn’t be guarding the bedroom door, but the front door.
If some evil terrorist wanted to blow up a planeload of people do you suppose the objective would be to ruin a perfectly good plane or to kill a bunch of people? If the objective is to kill a planeload of people it doesn’t really matter whether the people are on the plane or not, so why not just blow them up before they go through the magic door to safety?
When I had this epiphany, I pondered whether I should share, lest I give anyone any new ideas for ways to commit mayhem. Then I realized something: there are no new ideas. Every original thought you or I have had, or thought we had, was being thought by millions of others – probably sometimes at the very same moment.
I’m wondering why the front door to the airport isn’t the point of security. If they paid as much attention to who enters there as they do to how long you stop your damn car to drop someone off…you literally just get to slow down and your passenger has to grab their luggage and jump out… that might actually make us safer. I don’t understand why we don’t have highly trained security experts checking every person who enters the airport. It’s no guarantee, but it would be a hell of a lot better system than the lame ass one we have in place right now.
And another thing that bugs me. If you, or I, or anyone is caught looking at a naked kid on a computer, you’re going to jail. If the potential hamburger spit applicator looks at your kid naked on a computer while he or she is going through the full body scanner he’s making us all safer in the sky. If a stranger rubs their hands all over your child it’s called molestation, and that’s another crime. If the TSA screener does it, it makes us all safe and secure in the sky.
We can’t seem to get a straight answer as to how much radiation the scanners dose us with, the TSA claims it’s an insignificant amount. I was listening to a discussion with a radiologist that is concerned about the scanners because not all radiation is created equal and a low dose, depending on how and where it is administered could be worse than a high dose. This is the example that was given: The scanner radiation is aimed at your entire body’s largest organ, the skin. It’s a thin protective layer. The radiation also includes your eyes, neck, and head. According to the discussion this radiation, even at a small dose, is worse than a larger dose concentrated on one particular area of the body, such as an x-ray. We have no idea of the long term effects of these scanners, especially on those who travel often.
Just for shits and giggles, if you opt for the body scan, you should strike a very seductive pose. If you’re not sure how to do that just google seductive poses for ideas and you will see hundreds of pictures of Paris Hilton. If you opt for the pat down, during the procedure start out moaning softly, then step up your game a bit by saying YES, YES, THAT’S IT..HARDER, FASTER..NO DON’T STOP and end by faking an orgasm (if the screener is very good at their job you might not have to fake it).
A note on the shirts pictured in this post: No shirts were harmed during the writing of this post. I have purchased one of each and intend to wear them when I fly to see how amused the TSA screeners will be (hopefully my next post will not be from behind bars). Clicking on each shirt will take you to where it was purchased, should you want one for your very own.
Tags: crotch bomber, enhanced airport security, full body scanners, underwear bomber
Reading a post, about airport security, on The World According to Keith Saunders an idea occurred to me. Keith compares the cost of instituting new security measures and the number of lives they will save, with the number of lives saved and the cost of health care reform.
The new full body scanners are going to cost over 40 billion to install. Yet we were told that the U.S. couldn’t have the public option because of the money it would have cost. How many more people would survive through better health care? I’m betting it’s thousands of times the amount people who will be saved by enhanced security. read more
So I got to thinking, why not combine health care reform and enhanced airport security. Surely the technology exists for the body scanners to become a twofer…an all-in-one security scanner and a medical diagnostic device (kind of like the all-in-one fax, printer, scanner, but more sophisticated). While scanning for weapons or explosives it could look for diseases, clogged arteries, damaged organs, body mass index and much, much more. Order now and you get a second scanner at half price and a George Foreman Grill. Think of the advantages. You get your yearly physical exam and a vacation for the price of a ticket to fly.
I spend too much of my time chained to this slave-driver called a computer. There was a time people deluded themselves into thinking that computers would cut down on paper, speed things up and make life easier. I’m sure it seemed like a really great idea at the time, but what the hell were they thinking?
Going paperless would be great, but I think computers are the biggest tree killers going. Computers generate more paper than before we were paperless. When our parents got the phone bill it was one page (typed on one side), they wrote a check and paid it. It’s not just the phone company, that’s just my favorite example of a big corporation everyone loves to hate. Since they no longer have to pay a typist to type every single bill being sent out, they seem to have discovered how much fun it can be to include so much information in the bill that:
- Instead of one page, it’s now at least three or four (printed on both sides). That inconvenient old fashioned one page (single sided) bill said something like, this is how much you owe us, please send the money, and we appreciate your business. The bills today, if they could be translated, probably say something like, we don’t really know how much you owe us, but this is how much of your money we want and if you don’t send it right now we will turn off your service and make sure you cannot get service anywhere else ever again, because we are so big and powerful and there are so many people overpopulating the planet that we don’t really give a damn whether we have your business or not because right now even as our computer is generating this bill, hundreds of thousands of new customers are signing up.
- No one can understand it, we don’t even know if we’re getting cheated, and I suspect we are. I think it’s designed into today’s complicated billing systems. If each one of the millions of customers is overcharged an amount that is so insignificant it wouldn’t be worth the time for the majority of consumers to try to correct it, think how much extra revenue that would add up to. (even if we did figure out where they were sticking it to us, just go ahead and try getting it ironed out, see Customer Service, India Should Change Name to Customer Service).
After my parents paid their bills they had this little cardboard accordion file where they kept all their records. They didn’t have piles of paper inundating them on a daily basis, a room called an office, or a need for 20 file cabinets to store all the paper that comes in and for the back up records we print out for all the paperless transactions we do on our computers.
The computer is the main tool of my trade. A tool is, among other things, a device that provides a mechanical or mental advantage in accomplishing a task. Sometimes, when it comes to my computer, I feel like the tool. I’m more computer savvy than the average person, yet at times I find the computer so completely frustrating that I have fantasies about throwing it off of the roof, drowning it in the bathtub, or driving to the nearest gun shop, filling out the necessary forms, enduring whatever waiting period applies, and finally getting the gun and shooting the damn thing. It would be the briefest second of the most supreme ecstasy I can imagine. Possibly better than sex, and almost as good as chocolate.
I have a love hate relationship with my computer. When everything is running smoothly it is great. But it KNOWS. The number of problems I have with my computer is directly proportionate to the amount of time I don’t have to get a task accomplished.
Today my fantasies turned to a new career as a ditch digger. How wonderful it would be. I would take hold of the shovel (a tool) shove it into the dirt and that would be it, no waiting for it to boot, or wake up. The shovel, when about to be thrust into the soil, would never make me wait while displaying an hourglass icon letting me know that it is too busy doing other things to dig at the moment. My shovel will never tell me an error has occurred and needs to stop working and do I want it to send a message to its manufacturer, though whether I send the message or not my shovel is quitting right now. During my digging duties, my shovel will never decide to not respond and make me wait until I either put it away for awhile, or just twiddle my thumbs untill it is good and ready to begin again. When I want to quit digging and put my shovel in the tool shed it will never give me a message telling me it is not responding, so I should just wait until it is good and ready to be put away. When my ditch needs to be dug in a hurry, my shovel will never crash nor will I ever have to reboot my shovel. I doubt that I will ever have to update my shovel because of security issues, after which update I will be shoveling much slower than I had previously shoveled. My shovel will never get a virus, be hijacked by a spamming shovel, or be the victim of a spy. No matter how many ditches I dig it will never run out of memory. Best of all, I will never have a tech support person in India telling me that the shovel is fine but I obviously don’t know how to use it properly.