Tags: books, Bush's memoir, Decision Points by George w. Bush
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Tags: blame, Bush, bush bailouts, deficit, economy, race
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Tags: congress, cranial rectal inversion, democrats, head up ones' ass, senate
This just in. Epidemiologists are working feverishly to isolate the virus believed to cause C.R.I. (Cranial Rectal Inversion) in order to stop the record speed at which the virus seems to be spreading. They believe the virus is being spread in several ways, the main one being watching Fox News.
Scientists working on eradicating C.R.I. have confirmed the virus originated with former president, George W. Bush and is spreading rapidly. Some fear this could reach epic proportions and cause the kind of panic we saw during the bird flu and swine flu scares. Those most at risk are extreme right wing, republicans; though the disease has affected a number of democrats as well. This may be due to the close proximity in which they work.
Among those thought to be infected are Arizona senator and former Presidential candidate, John McCain, former Alaska Governor and Vice Presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, right wing nut jobs talkers Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, and Sean Hannity.
Symptoms include: confusion, inability to speak intelligently or articulately, a blank stare when asked a question for which you do not have the answer written on your hand, hypocrisy, proposing bartering livestock for medical care as health care reform, automatically being against something simply because Obama thought of it (you’d think Obama would wise up and start using reverse psychology on these morons) …and last but not least severe addiction to filibustering.
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Tags: chicken without a head, headless chicken
The other day on NPR I heard the story of Mike the Headless Chicken, who lived for almost two years after his head had been chopped off. After reading the story at Mike’s website for some strange reason ex-president Bush kept coming to mind. It’s an interesting, and yes, true story. You can see a picture gallery of Mike at Life Magazine.
September 10th, 1945 finds a strapping (but tender) five and a half month old Wyandotte rooster pecking through the dust of Fruita, Colorado. The unsuspecting bird had never looked so delicious as he did that, now famous, day. Clara Olsen was planning on featuring the plump chicken in the evening meal. Husband Lloyd Olsen was sent out, on a very routine mission, to prepare the designated fryer for the pan. Nothing about this task turned out to be routine. Lloyd knew his Mother in Law would be dining with them and would savor the neck. He positioned his ax precisely, estimating just the right tolerances, to leave a generous neck bone. “It was as important to Suck-Up to your Mother in Law in the 40′s as it is today.” A skillful blow was executed and the chicken staggered around like most freshly terminated poultry.
Then the determined bird shook off the traumatic event and never looked back. Mike (it is unclear when the famous rooster took on the name) returned to his job of being a chicken. He pecked for food and preened his feathers just like the rest of his barnyard buddies.
When Olsen found Mike the next morning, sleeping with his “head” under his wing, he decided that if Mike had that much will to live, he would figure out a way to feed and water him. With an eyedropper Mike was given grain and water. It was becoming obvious that Mike was special. A week into Mike’s new life Olsen packed him up and took him 250 miles to the University of Utah in Salt Lake City . The skeptical scientists were eager to answer all the questions regarding Mike’s amazing ability to survive with no head. It was determined that ax blade had missed the jugular vein and a clot had prevented Mike from bleeding to death. Although most of his head was in a jar, most of his brain stem and one ear was left on his body. Since most of a chicken’s reflex actions are controlled by the brain stem Mike was able to remain quite healthy. The rest of the story.
Tags: Dana Perino, Fort Hood
The following video brings to mind these possibilities:
- Dana Perino is really really STUPID
- Dana Perino thinks the rest of us are stupid
- Dana Perino is delusional and should be committed immediately
- Dana Perino slipped and perhaps said something she shouldn’t have. If there were no terrorist attacks during the Bush administration then what was 9-11 who was really behind the attacks?