I think grammar died the day Bush took office. I’m not referring to perfect grammar; who among us doesn’t make mistakes? I’m talking about blatant, in-your-face, make you grimace misuse of the easy stuff.
Examples include:
Asking a store clerk the location of a product and being told, “We don’t got any of that.”
“I don’t want no…”
“I don’t got no…”
“I seen her do…”
Inserting: like, you know, know what I’m sayin, fuckin’ every few words
misuse or mispronunciation of words
mumbling so as to be unintelligible
and the list goes on…
Because I am a freelancer (self employed, independent contractor) I am looked at by the sharks as a business owner and often receive phone calls soliciting business services I neither want or need. If you are a person that makes their living doing this sort of solicitation you talk for a living; you should have good communication skills. They rarely do.
The other day I answered a call from a woman (sounded more like a teenager) who said she was calling about changes to my merchant account. I said I didn’t have a merchant account to which she replied, “I know.” which prompted me to ask why then is she calling about changes to an account I don’t have. Her stumbling response was, ” Well we just like wanted to tell you about a new um happening that’s like making it easier to get a merchant account. We have this new, you know, happening” Annoyed at the interruption I sarcastically replied that, “If I wanted to like get a, you know, merchant account, I could um like ya know, make it happen by myself or whatever.” I figured she would disconnect but she did surprise me by giggling, so we both had a good laugh (at her expense).
Like real estate is now a buyers’ market, with so many highly skilled people out of work, it would seem like an employers’ market. Why, then is it the morons who are getting the jobs that require communication with the public? It’s bad enough when the customer service people are in another country and you can barely understand them, but when they are native speakers of your language and you can barely understand them something is very wrong. Could it be that the pay is so low this is the best you can get? Or have Americans been so dummed down in the past decade the average consumer would have trouble understanding an articulate speaker?
Now for some irony, or just something really weird.
Remember way back at the beginning of this post I stated my belief that the deterioration of the English language began with Bush? Here is something really ironic and a bit scary. About a week or so ago I was sick, for a few days, with a virus of the sort that makes you want to do nothing but lie down. I never watch television during the day, but one of the symptoms of this virus was the desire to watch whatever happened to be on television while lying on the sofa, remote in hand. Boy that Judge Judy is mean. I don’t have cable so please understand my choices are limited to whatever signal/s the surrounding mountains will allow.
So there I am watching whatever program came on next, lacking strength or motivation to expend my little energy pressing a button until Oprah came on. I dislike her enough that my finger found the strength and was about to change the channel when she announced her guest would be none other than former President, George W. Bush. This should have increased my motivation to press that remote button as quickly as possible, but I have to admit I was curious. In my defense I was probably delirious from the fever. I figured I would watch for a few minutes but what I saw so amazed me I watched the entire show.
Bush, was of course, on a book tour, hawking his memoir. But what so amazed me and kept me glued to the show was that Bush, or someone who looked and sounded just like him, was speaking in full sentences, using words (even adverbs) correctly, and pronouncing words (except for nuclear) correctly. In response to Oprah’s questions, which were likely provided by Bush’s people, he gave explanations for his actions that made him seem like a good guy. Sick as I was, I still thought he was a lying sack of crap. He was speaking at at least an eight or ninth grade level. He was able to respond to questions without that dazed and confused look we all came to know. He even acknowledged that many people are surprised he wrote a book and that most of them didn’t even think he could read (I still don’t). How is this possible? Was it my fever ridden brain playing tricks on me? Did the book publicist find a ringer to do interviews? Maybe it was a robotic Bush. That’s got to be it, a stand in or a robot, probably a robot.
This just in. Epidemiologists are working feverishly to isolate the virus believed to cause C.R.I. (Cranial Rectal Inversion) in order to stop the record speed at which the virus seems to be spreading. They believe the virus is being spread in several ways, the main one being watching Fox News.
Scientists working on eradicating C.R.I. have confirmed the virus originated with former president, George W. Bush and is spreading rapidly. Some fear this could reach epic proportions and cause the kind of panic we saw during the bird flu and swine flu scares. Those most at risk are extreme right wing, republicans; though the disease has affected a number of democrats as well. This may be due to the close proximity in which they work.
Among those thought to be infected are Arizona senator and former Presidential candidate, John McCain, former Alaska Governor and Vice Presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, right wing nut jobs talkers Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, and Sean Hannity.
Symptoms include: confusion, inability to speak intelligently or articulately, a blank stare when asked a question for which you do not have the answer written on your hand, hypocrisy, proposing bartering livestock for medical care as health care reform, automatically being against something simply because Obama thought of it (you’d think Obama would wise up and start using reverse psychology on these morons) …and last but not least severe addiction to filibustering.
I started writing this in response to a comment on my previous post, John McCain Leading Fight Against Obama. I changed my mind and decided to write a post instead.
I’m baffled by the negativity toward and downright hatred of Obama coming from so many sources, some from people I never would have expected. Slightly more than half of us were literally dancing in the streets when we elected Obama. Some of our elation arose from the realization that we were finally free from the oppression and idiocy of the Bush regime, some stemmed from the knowledge that we were witnessing history being made, electing the first non-white President. In addition, those of us that voted for him felt he was the best choice of the two remaining candidates to do the best for our country.
Obama inherited a huge mess, and while he is making mistakes and missteps, he has accomplished a lot in his short time in office. But let’s get real, nobody is prepared for the job of Commander-in-Chief, unless they have been president of another country and that will never happen. People are criticizing Obama because he’s not doing enough to fix our broken country. They remind me of those obese folks, who having been living on fast food, Twinkies, and soda for the last ten years; decide it’s time to get in shape, buy a gym membership, hire a personal trainer and three weeks later complain they’re not movie star thin. I’ve heard many a trainer explain to a client that it took years to get into their present condition, asking if they truly believed they could undo the damage, in a healthy way, in only a few weeks. It took Bush eight years to screw things up, and you guys want Obama to wave a magic wand and fix it in eight days, eight weeks, eight months…what’s your acceptable timetable here?
I think a large part of the negativity against Obama has its roots in racism. It reminds me of the attitudes people have about life in general. I can: eat what I want, heart disease only happens to other people, smoking won’t make me sick, seat-belts, who needs ‘em? But when they get heart disease, lung cancer, are paralyzed in a car accident they are in a state of shock, asking themselves, “How could this happen to ME?” And now those that did not support Obama are experiencing that same shock. They never believed it would happen to them, no way was America going to elect a black president; or those descriptions that make me cringe, calling him the N word or that colored boy. But it happened and now they are all asking themselves how could this have happened to us, and how do we fix it?
How about you get behind him and rather than criticize every breath he takes and every move he makes, try to do your part to help dig us out of this huge hole before we find ourselves on the list of third-world nations where the best jobs we can get are online or telephone tech support for China’s huge corporate outsourcing programs. It’s ironic, when I was a kid we used to dig holes in the ground and we thought if we dug deep enough we could dig all the way to China. It seems we may have done just that.
The other day on NPR I heard the story of Mike the Headless Chicken, who lived for almost two years after his head had been chopped off. After reading the story at Mike’s website for some strange reason ex-president Bush kept coming to mind. It’s an interesting, and yes, true story. You can see a picture gallery of Mike at Life Magazine.
September 10th, 1945 finds a strapping (but tender) five and a half month old Wyandotte rooster pecking through the dust of Fruita, Colorado. The unsuspecting bird had never looked so delicious as he did that, now famous, day. Clara Olsen was planning on featuring the plump chicken in the evening meal. Husband Lloyd Olsen was sent out, on a very routine mission, to prepare the designated fryer for the pan. Nothing about this task turned out to be routine. Lloyd knew his Mother in Law would be dining with them and would savor the neck. He positioned his ax precisely, estimating just the right tolerances, to leave a generous neck bone. “It was as important to Suck-Up to your Mother in Law in the 40′s as it is today.” A skillful blow was executed and the chicken staggered around like most freshly terminated poultry.
Then the determined bird shook off the traumatic event and never looked back. Mike (it is unclear when the famous rooster took on the name) returned to his job of being a chicken. He pecked for food and preened his feathers just like the rest of his barnyard buddies.
When Olsen found Mike the next morning, sleeping with his “head” under his wing, he decided that if Mike had that much will to live, he would figure out a way to feed and water him. With an eyedropper Mike was given grain and water. It was becoming obvious that Mike was special. A week into Mike’s new life Olsen packed him up and took him 250 miles to the University of Utah in Salt Lake City . The skeptical scientists were eager to answer all the questions regarding Mike’s amazing ability to survive with no head. It was determined that ax blade had missed the jugular vein and a clot had prevented Mike from bleeding to death. Although most of his head was in a jar, most of his brain stem and one ear was left on his body. Since most of a chicken’s reflex actions are controlled by the brain stem Mike was able to remain quite healthy. The rest of the story.
The following video brings to mind these possibilities:
Dana Perino is really really STUPID
Dana Perino thinks the rest of us are stupid
Dana Perino is delusional and should be committed immediately
Dana Perino slipped and perhaps said something she shouldn’t have. If there were no terrorist attacks during the Bush administration then what was 9-11 who was really behind the attacks?
This much coveted award is for bloggers who have a sense of humor, are smarter than a and not too chicken to say what they think. Feel free to award this to any blogger you feel is deserving of such a prestigious award.
Rules:
1. Proudly display the award on your blog with a link back to Honjii and a link back to the blogger, along with his/her name, who chose to award your blog.
2. Bestow this award, along with the rules, on a minimum of three blogs.
3. Contact the bloggers you've chosen and let them know of their incredibly life-altering good news.
4. Swear on your first born, or whatever you hold dear, never to mention these blogging awards are created by other self-serving bloggers trying to get more traffic altruistic bloggers who wish nothing more than acknowledging a blog well done.
The other day on NPR I heard the story of Mike the Headless Chicken, who lived for almost two years after his head had been chopped off. After reading the story at Mike’s website for some strange reason ex-president Bush kept coming to mind. It’s an interesting, and yes, true story. You can see a picture gallery of Mike at Life Magazine.
This much coveted award is for bloggers who have a sense of humor, are smarter than a and not too chicken to say what they think. Feel free to award this to any blogger you feel is deserving of such a prestigious award.
Rules:
1. Proudly display the award on your blog with a link back to Honjii and a link back to the blogger, along with his/her name, who chose to award your blog.
2. Bestow this award, along with the rules, on a minimum of three blogs.
3. Contact the bloggers you've chosen and let them know of their incredibly life-altering good news.
4. Swear on your first born, or whatever you hold dear, never to mention these blogging awards are created by other self-serving bloggers trying to get more traffic altruistic bloggers who wish nothing more than acknowledging a blog well done.
Talking the talk
March 15, 2011 at 8:51 am | Posted in Bush, crooks & liars, irony, modern trends, social comment, stupidity | 1 CommentTags: bad grammar, communication skills, English language, George W. Bush, grammar
I think grammar died the day Bush took office. I’m not referring to perfect grammar; who among us doesn’t make mistakes? I’m talking about blatant, in-your-face, make you grimace misuse of the easy stuff.
Examples include:
Because I am a freelancer (self employed, independent contractor) I am looked at by the sharks as a business owner and often receive phone calls soliciting business services I neither want or need. If you are a person that makes their living doing this sort of solicitation you talk for a living; you should have good communication skills. They rarely do.
The other day I answered a call from a woman (sounded more like a teenager) who said she was calling about changes to my merchant account. I said I didn’t have a merchant account to which she replied, “I know.” which prompted me to ask why then is she calling about changes to an account I don’t have. Her stumbling response was, ” Well we just like wanted to tell you about a new um happening that’s like making it easier to get a merchant account. We have this new, you know, happening” Annoyed at the interruption I sarcastically replied that, “If I wanted to like get a, you know, merchant account, I could um like ya know, make it happen by myself or whatever.” I figured she would disconnect but she did surprise me by giggling, so we both had a good laugh (at her expense).
Like real estate is now a buyers’ market, with so many highly skilled people out of work, it would seem like an employers’ market. Why, then is it the morons who are getting the jobs that require communication with the public? It’s bad enough when the customer service people are in another country and you can barely understand them, but when they are native speakers of your language and you can barely understand them something is very wrong. Could it be that the pay is so low this is the best you can get? Or have Americans been so dummed down in the past decade the average consumer would have trouble understanding an articulate speaker?
Now for some irony, or just something really weird.
Remember way back at the beginning of this post I stated my belief that the deterioration of the English language began with Bush? Here is something really ironic and a bit scary. About a week or so ago I was sick, for a few days, with a virus of the sort that makes you want to do nothing but lie down. I never watch television during the day, but one of the symptoms of this virus was the desire to watch whatever happened to be on television while lying on the sofa, remote in hand. Boy that Judge Judy is mean. I don’t have cable so please understand my choices are limited to whatever signal/s the surrounding mountains will allow.
So there I am watching whatever program came on next, lacking strength or motivation to expend my little energy pressing a button until Oprah came on. I dislike her enough that my finger found the strength and was about to change the channel when she announced her guest would be none other than former President, George W. Bush. This should have increased my motivation to press that remote button as quickly as possible, but I have to admit I was curious. In my defense I was probably delirious from the fever. I figured I would watch for a few minutes but what I saw so amazed me I watched the entire show.
Bush, was of course, on a book tour, hawking his memoir. But what so amazed me and kept me glued to the show was that Bush, or someone who looked and sounded just like him, was speaking in full sentences, using words (even adverbs) correctly, and pronouncing words (except for nuclear) correctly. In response to Oprah’s questions, which were likely provided by Bush’s people, he gave explanations for his actions that made him seem like a good guy. Sick as I was, I still thought he was a lying sack of crap. He was speaking at at least an eight or ninth grade level. He was able to respond to questions without that dazed and confused look we all came to know. He even acknowledged that many people are surprised he wrote a book and that most of them didn’t even think he could read (I still don’t). How is this possible? Was it my fever ridden brain playing tricks on me? Did the book publicist find a ringer to do interviews? Maybe it was a robotic Bush. That’s got to be it, a stand in or a robot, probably a robot.
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