Follow the bouncing boobies to see where your tax dollars go

April 21, 2011 at 2:58 pm | Posted in economy, government spending, government waste, political commentary | 4 Comments
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I thought the government was in deep financial doo doo, yet they have money to spend on this study about sports bras.  The conclusion of the study could have been provided in two minutes and zero dollars by anyone who happens to be the owner of a pair of breasts.  I don’t know how much money was allotted to this useless vitally important research, but whatever the amount, it was too much.  When it comes to money out government has a huge deficit, but when it comes to boobs we have a seemingly endless supply.

Abstract

PURPOSE:

The aim of this study was to investigate whether a sports bra designed to both elevate and compress the breasts could decrease exercise-induced breast discomfort and bra fit discomfort experienced by women with large breasts relative to a standard encapsulation sports bra.

METHODS:

Breast kinematic data, bra fit comfort, exercise-induced breast discomfort, and bra rankings in terms of preference to wear during running were compared in 20 women with large breasts who ran on a treadmill under three bra conditions: an experimental bra that incorporated both breast compression and elevation, an encapsulation sports bra, and a placebo bra. Subjective data were collected immediately before and after the treadmill running trials.

RESULTS:

Exercise-induced breast discomfort (P < 0.01) and bra discomfort (P < 0.01) were significantly less for the experimental bra condition relative to the sports bra and placebo bra. This reduction in discomfort was achieved through greater breast elevation (P < 0.01) and compression, with no difference found in vertical breast displacement (P = 0.12) or vertical breast velocity (P = 0.06).

CONCLUSIONS:

The design features of greater breast elevation and compression provided significantly increased breast and bra comfort compared with a standard encapsulation sports bra during physical activity for women with large breasts.

What a wonderful world it would be

April 21, 2011 at 1:14 pm | Posted in crooks & liars, economy, elections, humor, political | Leave a comment
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You know how you get an idea of something that would make a great invention, only to find out a day or two later someone beat you to it?  I was busily writing this exact song parody (I swear) to go with practically the same images when a friend emailed this video.  Damn, beat to the punch again!

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Mormons, don’t come a knockin’

April 19, 2011 at 5:11 pm | Posted in Atheism, Beliefs, humor, Religion | 6 Comments
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How dumb do they think we are, or how dumb are we?

April 17, 2011 at 2:59 pm | Posted in Atheism, Consumer Issues, god, modern trends, Religion, social comment, stupidity | 2 Comments
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An email box folder littered with spam messages.

Image via Wikipedia

Before I delete the email in my spam folder I need to scan through the list.  It’s a waste of time for which I harbor deep resentment toward Yahoo, the service I use for  my personal email.  In the not too distant past they upgraded and improved their system.  Since the implementation of these improvements many of my wanted emails,  from contacts in my address book, end up in my spam folder; yet for reasons that puzzle the hell out of me, the Nigerian letters always make it to the in-box.   While I scan the spam I notice the subject lines and wonder who are those so gullible as to even read, let alone fall for the scams that arrive daily.

Over the last couple of weeks a new subject has caught my attention.  It reads: Someone sent you a Palm Reading.  I have to tell you, I’m skeptical, because as far as I know both of my palms have been in my possession at all times.  Yes, I do sleep, but my very large, very protective dog sleeps next to my bed and if someone tried to borrow my palms while I slept the sound of barking and growling as she was pinning the (probably screaming) palm thief to the floor would surely wake me, palms intact.  I like to think of myself as smarter than the average  bear, but I can’t believe even the most intellectually challenged wouldn’t see the flaw in this approach.

Than again, we are, for the most part, a gullible bunch.  I recently got a Groupon offer for a two for one admission to a traveling King Tut exhibit.  It seemed like a good deal, and I almost bought it; until I went to the website for the exhibit and read that the items on display were authentic reproductions.  I thought, OK, the display consists either of authentic artifacts from Tut’s tomb or reproductions of them, they can’t be both;  If I’m going to spend my money on a King Tut exhibit I want to see the real stuff.  I’m an artist, I can make my own damn reproductions if I so desire.

For the past year or so I have seen and heard ads on radio, TV, and the internet for companies offering to pay cash for your gold.  You simply mail it off to them and when they receive it they appraise it and send you money.  When I first saw the ad I was dumbfounded at the boldness of what was so obviously a ripoff.  Who would be dumb enough to fall for that?  A week or so ago I heard a promo for the evening news indicating they were doing a story investigating these companies because they appear to be a scam.  DUH!  What took so long?  The fact that they had to do a story on it is pathetic and indicates that a whole bunch of people just sent off their valuables and really thought they would get money back.  Are you kidding me?

By the way if any of you reading this have any diamonds or other precious stones you don’t want, I’ll pay top dollar for them.  Just use my contact form and I’ll send instructions on where to mail them.

We as consumers should pay attention to what we are buying.  Read labels.  You’d be surprised how they contradict the claims the companies are making, in their advertising, even on the very same package on which the label appears.  They are betting you’re not going to read the important stuff and obviously they’re right.

The toothpaste aisle is a great example.  The two major brands, Colgate and Crest, both have an array of toothpaste choices.  There are those for whitening, extra whitening, cavity prevention, sensitive teeth, enamel protection, tartar prevention, stain prevention, many combinations of the above, and more.  I looked at the active (and inactive) ingredients of most of the different formulas and found they were the same.  The thing to read next is the price tag and choose the lowest one.

There is a product called V-Fusion, a juice containing fruits and vegetables, made by the V-8 Juice people.  It is 100% juice.  After it had been on the market for awhile, they came out with a lite, low calorie version.  If you read the packaging and the ingredients you find that it is 50% juice because they watered it down by 50%.  The price, however, is the same as the original version, so if you want fewer calories, buy the original stuff and mix it with water and save  your  money.

It should be no surprise that businesses are cashing in on a society gullible enough to believe there is an invisible man in the sky who created the earth and everything on it in seven days a mere six thousand years ago,  that science is evil, and who never question anything they are told.  I’m starting to feel like an idiot for not cashing in on the stupidity of the American consumer.

H. L. Mencken said, “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people.”

Attention WANKERS, there’s an app for that

April 8, 2011 at 11:12 pm | Posted in modern trends, social comment, technology | Leave a comment
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My first app store purchases.

Image by TwisterMc via Flickr

It seems we are becoming a people who cannot make a move without consulting an app.  For those not familiar with the lingo, an app is short for an application for a smart phone.  I think the amount of apps available number somewhere in the millions.  Some are games, some are just cute or novel time-suckers, and some are actually useful.

I don’t own a smart phone so I do not have app capabilities, yet somehow I have managed to survive.  In phone years my cel phone (yes it’s from the days when they were still phones and not wireless devices) is a dinosaur. I suppose I have a dumb phone, which I like to think, has a smart person.  Though my phone would be an embarrassment to some, these days, I still think it’s pretty smart.  It can record voice memos, keep track of  appointments, function as an alarm clock, tell me the time anywhere in the world among other cool features.  The best part about my phone is the talking caller ID.  When I enter someone’s number in the phone book, instead of their real name I enter someone very famous and/or important so that when, for example, my boyfriend calls all those within earshot must be enormously wowed that I’m receiving a call from Barack Obama.  Not only does my phone talk to me, I can talk to it, so  that when making a call I simply further impress people by saying, to my phone, “call Rachel Maddow” , when I’m really just calling my mother.

Getting back on track, I wonder about the ramifications of having a smart phone app for just about anything and everything.  I can already see  plenty of evidence that capacity for critical thinking and creative problem solving, in humans, is diminishing.  Will we get to a point where we can’t make a move without consulting an app to decide where and when to eat, what to buy, what to think?

The gym to which I belong has been touting an app to keep you connected to the gym anytime, anywhere.  This would be useful because what..I might find myself at a coffee shop or stuck in traffic and feel the need to do some crunches?  And even if I did, I think I could manage it without consulting a smart phone.

Everywhere I go I see people with their faces glued to their smart phones doing stuff.  I don’t know what stuff they are doing,  but they have the glazed eyes of the brainwashed.

Back to the apps.  I know there are apps for just about anything you can think of but yesterday a friend emailed me about a phone app that made believe we have sunk to a new low.  Enter the Wank-0-meter.

Technology at the service of your personal sexual life

For far too many years, masturbation has crossed an age of darkness. No metrics, no references, no performance analysis.

If this is something you feel you simply cannot do without you can get more information and download the app at the above link.

Happy wanking.

Cheap flights…or are they?

April 6, 2011 at 11:08 am | Posted in Consumer Issues, humor | 1 Comment
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Desperately seeking support job

April 5, 2011 at 2:18 pm | Posted in economy, humor, modern trends | 2 Comments
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