Tags: congress, cranial rectal inversion, democrats, head up ones' ass, senate
This just in. Epidemiologists are working feverishly to isolate the virus believed to cause C.R.I. (Cranial Rectal Inversion) in order to stop the record speed at which the virus seems to be spreading. They believe the virus is being spread in several ways, the main one being watching Fox News.
Scientists working on eradicating C.R.I. have confirmed the virus originated with former president, George W. Bush and is spreading rapidly. Some fear this could reach epic proportions and cause the kind of panic we saw during the bird flu and swine flu scares. Those most at risk are extreme right wing, republicans; though the disease has affected a number of democrats as well. This may be due to the close proximity in which they work.
Among those thought to be infected are Arizona senator and former Presidential candidate, John McCain, former Alaska Governor and Vice Presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, right wing nut jobs talkers Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, and Sean Hannity.
Symptoms include: confusion, inability to speak intelligently or articulately, a blank stare when asked a question for which you do not have the answer written on your hand, hypocrisy, proposing bartering livestock for medical care as health care reform, automatically being against something simply because Obama thought of it (you’d think Obama would wise up and start using reverse psychology on these morons) …and last but not least severe addiction to filibustering.
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